Reviving the flame after a time together... it's possible!
I'm worried. We are living our first two years of marriage and I have long noticed that Silvia does not have as much interest in sex as before.We used to be like two volcanoes. Our relationship was very passionate. Sex was just something that came up. And we didn't always do it in bed. We liked to innovate and we didn't have taboos.Now everything seems to have cooled down. With time and routine, I may have neglected myself a little. Inertia and conformism are common in relationships. Marriage has given stability to both of us and both of us have stopped exercising. We used to take good care of ourselves. Before I met Silvia I went to the gym and ate healthily. Now, not anymore. I've become comfortable, and I'm really starting to think about whether I'm less attractive to her than before or whether we need help to rekindle the flame.
Couple Crisis in the First Two Years of Marriage
I've been doing a little bit of research on the Internet. The first thing I found was that couples usually have a crisis after about two years of marriage. Maybe that's what's happening to us, that time has passed and we've fallen into a routine. You can take a sexuality test to see your status.With routine, we've put aside the passion and romanticism we had in the beginning. At that moment the couple crisis appears for the wearing down of the relation of couple. It's true. I don't think so much about how she is anymore. I only concentrate on myself many times.I worry about desire. I want her to keep wanting me. I've thought about renewing our sexual routine and seeking the advice of sexual psychology, to see what happens. Silvia may be surprised and feel again that we connect sexually as before. I don't want the routine to start affecting us and lead to a couple crisis.Searching the Internet I found an online sex therapy website. I do not dare to go to a consultation to explain these sexual things that concern me. They are intimate problems and it makes me very uncomfortable to discuss them with people. I know that at 33 I should have overcome this kind of shame, but that's not the case. So discovering that there was an online therapist has opened the doors of heaven to me. I find it more comfortable to ask questions and explain how I feel on my mobile.
Sex games for couples
I have discussed with the online therapist that I want to rekindle the flame between Silvia and myself, that is my top priority. I worry about the occasions when I have felt helpless and I believe that by improving the sexual desire between the two of us we will feel close to each other again and we will be able to enjoy a satisfying sexual life. He has told me to think about the things she might like, what we did at the beginning of our relationship, and to dare to innovate in our intimate moments. Turning to the subject, I have come up with a series of games in bed that I think can help us a lot.
Games with flavours
I thought I'd make a game of flavours. I think it could be fun and Silvia and I have never done things like that. I can't wait to see her face. I think she'll like it. It consists of covering her eyes and putting fruit on my body. She has to guess what fruit it is. I've also thought about rubbing the skin with chocolate, or with special edible creams that are available in sex shops. I'm sure it's exciting.
Massages are something we used to do a long time ago, but now I can't even remember the last time. I've thought about taking it up again with one of those stimulating oils that they advertise on television. Silvia has always liked them. I have read that massages increase sexual arousal. I think a good massage is a way to start in bed.
The waiting game
I think one of our biggest problems right now is that we're not spending enough time on sex or desire. Our sexual relationships now are shorter and consist less of caresses and more of penetration. We like them, but we used to spend more time on foreplay. We liked to touch each other and wait. And so our desire grew little by little.I thought about playing to wait. Tell Silvia that we are going to spend fifteen minutes just caressing each other. I think this will increase our desire and make relationships more enjoyable.
I remember that Silvia told me recently that one of the scenes she liked most in her favourite book was a sex scene in which the main character tied the girl's hands with a soft ribbon and had sexual relations with her hands tied to the bed.When she told me, the truth is that I didn't pay much attention to it because I'm not attracted to that book. But I think that the game that the book proposes is very interesting to rekindle the flame between us. Besides, if she liked it, she'll see that I pay attention to what she liked.If you want to improve your level of well-being, in TherapyChat we can help you. We are international leaders in online psychology and we have the right therapist for you.